Anonymous asked: I've been in a relationship with a girl for about 8 months now and I really, really do like her.
Foolishly, and selfishly, I never told my parents that I was bisexual and they realised I was in a relationship when they found Valentine's Day presents and the like from her.
My mother has known for months now - since Valentine's Day - but still is completely against it and alternates from ignoring the relationship altogether, to shouting and ignoring me.
It's very upsetting and I know that my girlfriend is finding it hard too since my mother is, although not strict, very disapproving. I'm sure you know what I mean when I say that she's not banning it from happening, per se, but the repurcussions from me seeing her are just ridiculous and make home life very tense.
What do I do to try and explain to her that this isn't a "phase", that it's not my feelings that are embarrassing the family but her subsequent actions? How do I deal with this?
Thank you :-)
This is a tough one.
Being a lesbian myself, I have dealt with this on many occasions.
But never in your situation. My parents are very accepting.
So I can only see from your girlfriend’s point of view.
I wonder if she is a bisexual also.
If she is a lesbian, then I think she may be more understanding.
This is all part of being gay.
Parents disapproval, strangers disapproval, friends disapproval.
It’s common ground for almost every single homosexual out there.
If she is also bisexual, I can understand it may be a little harder for her to understand.
As for getting your mom on your side, you may never have her on your side. I have a very close friend who has literally lost a once amazing relationship with her mother all because she came out.
I think this may be one of those time can only tell kinda things, just handle it as an adult, and perhaps your mother will finally see it as that, an adult relationship.
As for the girl, bisexual or full on lesbian, if she is worth it, she’ll stick around. Explain to her you understand that this is hard, but your relationship isn’t something you are going to hide or give up on just because your mom isn’t okay with it.
Every single couple has something. It could be anything.
Yours just happens to be this.
You’ll be stronger when you come out of it, and hopefully it all works out.
I feel like this is the worst advice I’ve given, just because every single family is different. Some families will just always call your girlfriend your “friend”, some won’t let her come over, some will be accepting, some will be overly accepting and amazingly wonderful.
And in each one of those, every family is different.
All you can control is yourself, and I think you should just give it time and act adult about it.
I really hope this one works out.
